


Can't think of a title yet but this is the only thing on my account Ada can read everything else sucks

by Lindsey7618



Category: Phan, Phandom, Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: DAN AND PHIL - Freeform, Hurt Dan Howell, M/M, Phan - Freeform, Phil Lester being a sweetheart, Phil comforting Dan is always the best thing ever just saying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-07
Updated: 2017-08-07
Packaged: 2018-12-12 10:35:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11735280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lindsey7618/pseuds/Lindsey7618
Summary: Phil's noticed how off Dan seems to be lately and tries to cheer him up and confronts him. I'm bad at summaries I'm sorry





	Can't think of a title yet but this is the only thing on my account Ada can read everything else sucks

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for one of my best friends. Dan was supposed to be them (and he may be a little different from them but I tried) and I meant to post this a while ago when they were upset I'm such a bad friend I know lmao
> 
> Anyway, love you Ada <3

Phil knocked on Dan's bedroom door gently. "Can I come in?"

After a moment Dan said yes and Phil slowly pushed open the door. He walked over to his best friend and held out the flowers he had brought him. "I know they're your favorite."

The ghost of a half smile hinted at Dan's lips and Phil wanted to sigh in relief as he set them down by the bed. 

"Dan, what's wrong?" he asked softly. Dan hadn't been himself at all lately and all Phil wanted to do was comfort him, but he didn't know how. So he listened. 

Dan blew out a breath and Phil waited, watching Dan chew his bottom lip and play with the hem of his shirt. 

"Everything," he said at last. "I don't know what to do, Phil. I feel numb and empty and I just...I don't want to exist anymore and I don't know how to handle this shit. I feel like cutting just to feel anything other than emptiness."

Phil desperately wanted to help Dan. He desperately wanted to hold him and tell him everything would be okay and make it all better. But he knew that he couldn't. But he could at least be here for Dan. 

He reached out to hug Dan. "I wish I could take all your pain, I'd do it in a heartbeat for you if I could, I really would, and I hate that I can't. But I love you, Dan, and I'm always going to be here for you. Please always remember that. I'm so proud of you and how far you've come, and I'm really proud that you haven't cut. And even when you do cut, you still fought. And I know you can get through this."

He kissed Dan's cheek and Dan looked away. 

"But you don't know that, Phil." His tone wasn't sad, wasn't bitter- it was just empty. "Nothing will ever get better. I'm always going to be stuck like this, nothing will ever change that."

Phil hated how vacant, how hollow Dan looked, how it seemed like he didn't care anymore. 

"You're right," he said slowly, "I don't know that for sure. But what I do know is that you're a fighter, Daniel Howell. I know that I'll be here every step of the way to help you through this. I know you're a good person who can get through anything if he tries. I know-"

"But what if I don't want to try?" Dan interrupted softly, his face void of any emotion. 

Phil paused. "I'm going to try," he said finally. "I'm going to try enough for the both of us, Dan. I'm going to help you get through this. I'm going to try my damn hardest to make sure you get through this alive and okay. And I know you don't believe me. I know your hope is gone. But I've got enough hope for two, and somehow I'm going to get some of that into you. I love you and I'm staying right where I am. We're going to get through this, Dan."

Dan said nothing, but laid down on the bed, pulling Phil down with him. He closed his eyes and rested his head on Phil's chest, and Phil took his hand, understanding his unsaid thank you. 

He couldn't make Dan feel better. He couldn't wave a magic wand and make all Dan's problems disappear. He couldn't force Dan to love himself. He wished he could. But no matter what he could or couldn't do, Phil could at least offer his ears to listen and be there for Dan. And for now, that was enough.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry this sucked Ada


End file.
